Don’t persist in pestering the other party.
When some people experience a breakup, in an attempt to salvage the relationship, most of them will have the urge to have an earnest talk and communication with the other party.
In fact, the psychological motivation for reaching out to the other party at this point is: “Let’s try again. We can clear up all the misunderstandings, and then we can be as close as before. Or we can start anew, leaving behind all the previous conflicts.” This is also why the final negotiations in love often never truly end.
In reality, the more you pester, the more the other person will feel annoyed. The right approach is to “leave quickly. The faster and more decisively you withdraw, the more actively you act, the more dignity you can salvage for yourself. The shock and subtle attraction you create for the other person will also be greater.” This is the essence of “not being persistent.”
Identify the root cause of the problem.
After enduring the pain for a while, it’s time to face yourself rationally. Confront the reality of the breakup and calmly analyze where the problem lies. Since the breakup is a fact, you must be brave enough to accept it.
Remember, as mentioned earlier, emotions aren’t about who is right or wrong; they’re about whether two people are compatible. What you need to do is figure out:
- What aspects of you were unacceptable to your partner?
- When was your partner happiest, and why?
- When were they most miserable, and why?
Simultaneously, identify what aspects of your partner were unacceptable to you.
After identifying these factors, determine which ones you can change and make necessary adjustments. For those that can’t be changed, remember to choose a partner whose “characteristics” align better with yours in the future.
Don’t be afraid to let others know about the breakup.
The most embarrassing thing during a breakup is often the fear of everyone finding out. People also dread being asked questions like, “Why did you break up?” Because for someone who has just gone through a breakup, the hardest part is not knowing how to explain the reason to others.
When such situations arise, most people tend to use strange and immature excuses to prevaricate. As a result, thoughtful friends will pretend to understand but feel awkward about pressing further. Although they leave with a slightly confused expression, the person who experienced the breakup can still endure it. However, if they encounter someone who likes to pry deeply, they will often feel extremely embarrassed, and their mood will turn even sadder and more painful.
If someone pretends that “I am still deeply in love with my partner” during a breakup, this mentality is somewhat pathological.
When experiencing a breakup, it’s advisable not to fear others finding out—you can even choose to let them know.
If you find the constant questioning unbearable, try using this formula: “Hi [Name], I want to share some bad news. I’ve been broken up with, and the other person has found someone else. I’m really sad now, but I believe I’ll feel better in a few days. Please don’t ask me why or bring this up again, okay? Thank you. Bye.” Then go back and cry your heart out. You’ll find that heartbreak isn’t as terrifying as it seems.
Learn to face it strongly and become a winner.
The most common emotional reactions for those who experience an early breakup include loss of self-confidence, self-blame, resentment, feelings of inferiority, or even giving up and avoiding reality.
Revenge is never a good idea. Neither are being disheartened, constant crying, or neglecting responsibilities—these are all unhealthy emotional responses.
Because such behaviors only make the other person more arrogant and complacent, while bringing no benefit to yourself. The best way to deal with resentment after a breakup is to live well, be independent and strong, live a better life than before, and strive to progress in your studies and career. In the future, marry someone better than your ex, so they can see that you can thrive.
Generally, a person can self-adjust within three months after a breakup. However, if it takes more than three months but less than six months, they should seek emotional counseling from a professional psychologist to prevent the development of psychological disorders.
What to eat to ease the mood after a breakup?
When experiencing a breakup, one’s mood drops, and appetite may also be affected. Experts believe this is because excessive mental stress suppresses the function of the autonomic nervous system, affecting digestion and absorption. Therefore, it’s essential to eat easily digestible foods to minimize energy consumption of the digestive system. Here are some recommended “good mood” meals, such as:
- Lotus seed and brown rice porridge
- Stir-fried carrot, winter bamboo shoot, and tofu
- Stir-fried spinach and shrimp with sesame seeds
It’s important to note that flavorings and pigments in highly processed foods may negatively impact mood. Additionally:
- Eating too much greasy food increases stress.
- Hard and frozen foods burden the digestive system, making you feel more tired.
- Sweets can temporarily improve mood but lower energy and exacerbate fatigue and depression.
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